Can I Stay Single - Mr. K. C. George

Is it right to stay single? Am I going against God’s institution of marriage if I stay single? How do I know if I should get married or stay single? How does the life of a single person look like? Let’s look at the biblical view and a few practical aspects of staying single.

What Does Bible Say? We all know that God instituted marriage. But He allowed unmarried life too. Just as the married need to live their lives in accordance with God’s design for marriage, singles need to live their lives in accordance with God’s design for them. ‘But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion’ (1 Cor.7:9) (NIV).

If you are constantly drawn to sexual temptations, you should not stay single. The Gift of Celibacy. It is true that most of us may not be able to stay single if this is a condition to stay single. However if the Holy Spirit has given you a special ability, you could stay single, which we normally call as the ‘gift of celibacy’. Bible does not say that there is such a gift. However, the Holy Spirit can give us the ability to stay away from sexual temptations.

Singles in the Bible Our Lord Jesus was a single. He lived an abundant, fruitful, and purposeful life. Paul taught about staying single and lived a single life. He lived a life with high significance for the kingdom of God. John the Baptist lived a single life. He led many to repentance and prepared the way for Jesus. Are you called To Stay Single? It is important for you to be sure that you are called for marriage before you get into marriage.

In the same way, it is important to be sure that you are called to stay single before you finalize that decision. There are few considerations you need to make before arriving at this very important decision. Has God specially enabled you to stay single? Have you been drawn to sexual temptations in the last one-month? If you are, don’t think about staying single. It is better for you to get married than to burn with sexual passion. Does God confirm a desire to stay single in your heart? If God has called you to stay single, you will be peaceful about it.

In fact you will have difficulty praying for marriage and will get restless when marriage proposals come to you. God will confirm and reconfirm that you are called to stay single in several ways/occasions. Are you able to fulfill God’s purpose in your life as a single? If God has called you to stay single, he will also enable you to fulfill his purpose for your life. As a single, John the Baptist was successful in preparing the way for Jesus. If you feel that you are unable to fulfill God’s call in your life staying single, probably you should reconsider your decision to stay single. Are you able to live a fruitful and abundant life as a single? If God calls you to stay single, he will also prepare you for single life. This means that he will mold you in different areas of your life and equip you to live a fruitful and abundant single life. If you find yourself struggling to live your day-to-day life as a single, probably you should reconsider your decision.

Dealing with Parents Having been called to stay single, taking your family along with you in your decision could be difficult. You need to work with your parents slowly and steadily. To reduce shock of this news, give them clues about your intention to stay single so they are aware you are thinking on these lines. Inform them of your decision very prayerfully and with empathy. They might disagree with you on the first attempt. Allow time to heal the emotional wounds and help them to accept your decision over a period.

Dealing with Fellow Believers Another practical implication of staying single is dealing with your brothers and sisters in Christ. Many people tend to look for a negative reason for your decision to stay single, like a failed relationship with a boy / girl friend, a chronic disease, a bad experience in the past, etc. Some might suspect that you got your theology of marriage wrong and may want to correct you; they will open the Bible and give you several verses. Some might think that you have misunderstandings about marriage and attempt to explain how wonderful marriage can be. Some will assume that you are against the institution of marriage.

They will start telling you why God instituted marriage and why God gave Eve to Adam etc. You need to help them focus on your Godly reason for staying single. Explain how Bible allows a person to stay single. Tell them how you discovered your call to stay single. Living a Single Life An unmarried life adds certain rewards to your life. Your potential for higher focus in life. Being single you are free from several responsibilities that come with a family life, like establishing and managing a house, bringing up children etc. This allows you to place a higher focus on what God has called you to do. We read in I Cor. 7:32-34, ‘An unmarried person is concerned about the Lord’s affairs, how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the matters of this world, how he can please his wife and his interests are divided’. (NIV). Because of the gift of celibacy God has given you, you have special ability to relate with people in the opposite gender.

You could interact with people in opposite gender without having to worry about keeping your sexual temptations under control. This can make your life easier in your dealings with opposite gender. Unmarried life also adds certain responsibilities to your life. There are certain areas of your life, which are taken care naturally within marriage, e.g. your spouse or children could take care of you when you are sick. As a single person, you might have to make arrangement for someone to take care of you in such circumstances. As a single person you have the potential to achieve something that others have not achieved because of the additional focus God has given you. However this places a responsibility on you to make use of this additional focus and achieve something great for the Lord. Your decision to stay single can be as complex as finding God’s will about your life partner. Some are called to stay single while the others for marriage. We need to respect each other’s call. If you are called to stay single be faithful as a single and look at ways you can be devoted to the Lord with an undivided devotion and be more fruitful for his kingdom.