Overcoming Bitterness - Ms. Kala Suresh

Only a few years after my mom’s marriage, her life changed for the worst. When she was carrying her last child, i.e., me, my father left us. Mom went through a lot of trouble to raise us. The only solace for her was that she knew the Lord Jesus and she could lean on His everlasting arms.

Things however were not so good for me. The desertion of my father made a deep impact on my early tender life. The difficult and different situations such as insecurity, no proper food or medical care and unmet needs at home and otherwise made me grow bitter toward my father. I was unable to express myself as a small child. Feelings of being unloved and insecure took strong roots.

I began to grow that way. I felt the need to prove myself to be loved, felt the need to be loud and obnoxious and have my way to be secure. I grew up very rough & hard-hearted, not willing to love anyone in the family. However, I was a very unhealthy child, falling sick very often. Nevertheless the difficult situations also helped me to get closer to the Lord. In spite of my health conditions, I was strong in the Lord. My teenage years brought tremendous changes in my life. I committed my life to Christ. As I felt a call for the ministry, I began to pray that God would bless and use me in the ministry.

Yet, my life was not fruitful. Though a follower of Christ, I had still not forgiven my father. The Bible clearly commands us to, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice,” (Eph 4:31 NIV). It also tells us to, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you,” (Eph 4:32 NIV). Bitterness literally means an unforgiving heart. To be forgiven, we need to understand how the Lord forgave us. The Bible also says, “But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins,” (Mat 6:15 NIV). And the psalmist adds, “If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened,” (Psalm 66:18 NIV).

Bitterness would also mean – living in sin with our prayers not being answered. Though bitterness is not easily visible, it destroys the plan of God for one’s life. The story of Cain and Abel in the Bible is a very good example. Bitterness caused Cain to kill his own brother. (Genesis 4: 1-16) When a person takes the route of forgiveness, the outcome is beautiful because “God makes all things beautiful in His time,” (Eccl 3:11, KJV). We see this in the life of Joseph. Though his own brothers mistreated him and sold him off, he continued to trust in God. In the end he stood next to the king in authority and was able to show kindness to the same brothers, (Genesis 37-41). When I realized it, I began to seek God to help me to forgive my father.

I confessed my sin of an unforgiving heart toward my father. When I forgave him, the bitterness within me melted away. I began to be transformed and God began to bless me and use me in His work. So God is able to work through every situation in life. However bitterness when ignored will have irreversible consequences. Hebrews 12:15 says, “Look after each other so that none of you will miss out on the special favor of God. Watch out that no bitter root of unbelief rises up among you, for whenever it springs up, many are corrupted by its poison,” (NLT). Bitterness can destroy one’s life completely.

When I went through the shadow of the valley of death – times of loneliness, feeling unloved, feeling insecure, God was working in me. He loved me and changed my life to be a blessing to many. God kept reminding me about His promise in the Bible, which says He is “a father to the fatherless…” (Psalm 68:5 NIV), and “Be still and know that I am God,” (Psalm 46:10 NIV). Many a times we are not able to overcome bitterness because we are focused on our circumstances. The best thing to do is to give our burdens to the Lord and experience His forgiveness. Secondly we need to help others who are in much difficult situations than ours or in similar situations. By doing this we allow God to touch their lives and in the process make our lives productive and fruitful. If you are going through rough times today, the only thing you need to know is, “to be still and know He is and He alone is our God.”