People often tell me, “Harriet, I wish I were like you. How can you be so patient and forgiving?” They think that I was born a very patient and forgiving person. Though I am very patient now at the age of 46, I was never like this. I was a very short-tempered child; always fighting to get what I wanted… until something happened that changed me.
My childhood days were filled with episodes of fights with my elder sister. I always wanted to choose first from the things Dad would buy for us, no matter whether it was toys or sweets or clothes or anything, you name it… I was known as a fighter-cock. My father being a Pastor counseled us to forgive one another and live peacefully but to no avail.
Things continued to be the same. He continued to do his counseling and we continued with our fights. Small fights would lead us to bigger issues. The resulting anger caused me to steal my sister’s things. Life continued like this for several years. However, while I was in standard eight my sister and I accepted Jesus as our personal savoir. Suddenly things began to change from within me. I began to think, “what is the use of all these fights. They take me nowhere!” They are irrelevant. The important thing is, “Jesus helps me to live in peace.” I began to understand what my parents were trying to teach me.
God began to convict me of the need to forgive others and to live in peace. ‘Eph. 4:32 – Be kind and compassionate to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you (NIV). Just as God forgave me in spite of who I was and what I did, it became necessary that I follow in His footsteps. The words of Jesus on the cross as recorded in Luke 23:34, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (NIV), made a deep impression on me. Being convicted of my mistakes, I asked my sister to forgive me and began to be kind and forgiving toward her. I never fought with my sister after that. This forgiveness now overflowed not just to my sister to others too. Jesus not only set an example for me but also helps me forgive others as in the case with my sister. When it becomes difficult to forgive a person who hurts me often, Matthew 18:21,22 comes to my aid, where Jesus says, “…not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” (NIV) Though it sounds easy to forgive, it is never so.
The most decisive testing came at the time of my marriage; there were many misunderstandings with my in-laws’ family initially. People began to hurt me, but with God’s strength I forgave them. Slowly God brought about a change and now my in-laws hold me in high-esteem. All this happened because I exchanged the life of quarrel for a life of forgiveness. Many a time people still cheat me, yet I forgive them and thank the Lord for the strength He provides that I could forgive them. In doing so, I live in peace with myself and with others. May God give us the strength to live peacefully in a world that is full of turmoil even as we choose to do so. I am not perfect, but He’s still working on me…
Author: Ms. Harriet David is a graduate working in library management. She leads women’s Bible study and prayer in her church
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