Watch out - Rev. C. A. Benjamin

Watch Out for Ungodly Advice within the Home It is good to be married, but then the journey is not smooth. On the way we have many decisions to make and it is important that we make the right choices. If not, we’ll have to live with the consequences of our choices. We will have many advisors on the journey… our spouse, children, in-laws, friends, pastors and counselors. Who do we listen to? Let’s take a look at a few couples in the Bible and see how they handled their relationships.

Blaming Relationship – Adam & Eve Gen.3:12, 13. When we are confronted with the issue that we have created and we are put in a tight spot, we do not want to take responsibility for our actions. Instead we look for a scapegoat to blame it on and that invariably happens to be our spouse.

Very often it’s because of our own inability to make the right decision. The blaming relationship is a devastating relationship. Selfish Relationship – Abraham & Sarah Gen.12:12, 13. We may call Abraham “father of faith,” but we should never forget that he too had his own share of problems. Here you see that he values his life more than his wife’s. The Bible exhorts us to put others’ interest above our own.

We sometimes use each other for our own selfish needs. In order to achieve what we want, we are even prepared to compromise our relationship with our spouse. Stabbing Relationship – Isaac & Rebekah Gen.27:46. In this mother/son relationship, we see that the mother, instead of correcting the son, plays right into his hands, makes plans for him and then comes up with a story to protect him. Was she not cheating on her husband? She never told her husband the whole incident. Parents, we need to watch out. Sometimes we tend to “protect” our children from getting punished and in the process we damage the child. What a tragedy! That was the last time Jacob saw his mother. Are we joining hands to cover up the truth? Instigating Relationship – Ahab & Jezebel 1 Kg.21:7, 15, 16. King Ahab was after Naboth’s land. He was coveting it for a long time. Remember that he was a king; he had everything – the land, servants, cattle, etc.

He did not need this vineyard. Greed was at the center. He came home sulking because Naboth refused. His wife Jezebel, instead of advising him against it, instigated him to do evil. Ahab got up and went to take over the vineyard. What a family! When you know that your spouse is wrong and you go out of the way to get his/her desire fulfilled in the wrong way, it will have a terrible end. King Ahab got what he wanted but he never wanted what he got. Nagging Relationship – Samson & Delilah Judg.16:16.

Have you experienced this nagging relationship? You have always stood for certain convictions. After marriage, your spouse and your children begin to nag you and you give in and compromise on the very things you once stood for. It becomes so difficult for you to be different. Friends, watch out! It could be disastrous for the whole family. Let’s look at some Positive Influences. Supporting Relationship – Elkanah & Hannah 1 Sam.1:8. Elkanah had two wives. Hannah did not have a child and she was in the temple crying everyday. In the midst of so much pain, provocation and ridicule, he came to her and asked, “Why are you crying? Am I not more than ten sons?” Hannah was strengthened by those words.

Is it possible for us to play a supporting role when our spouse goes through those low moments? Or are we judgmental? Truthful Relationship – Job & his wife Job 2:8-10. When Job was going through pain, his wife said, “Curse God and die.” Many condemn his wife but I believe that she said it might be because she could not bear to see him suffer anymore. She felt she could have him longer if he denied the Lord. But Job stood for his convictions. Yes, he was in pain. But he never yielded to that advice. She would have gone through pain of seeing him suffer, when she understood her husband. We do not hear her complain again.

It was blessed end. Honoring Relationship – Aquilla & Priscilla Acts 18:3, 18:19. They opened their home for the teaching of the Scriptures. They worshipped the Lord together and they were worshipping together and witnessed together. It is a relationship of Christ to the Church. Lessons from these Relationships • Never look for convenience but conviction • Be God pleasers rather than spouse pleasers • Do not hide the truth for fear of punishment • Do not look at your spouse as a competitor but a complimentor + We are called to build our house and not break our spouse • Focus on a strengthening, sustaining relationship